When I think of my mother, Ngeton, I am filled with love and gratitude. In addition to sharing a little bit about my spiritual journey with her, I also hope to give you a sense of Ngeton herself, who was a master. She was in the presence of many masters and I was fortunate to receive their blessings. One of my most vivid memories was of His Holiness, the 16th Karmapa, in a beautiful temple, blessing me and putting a red string around my neck. I also remember the face of Muktananada placing his hand on my head and giving me the name Ananda, which means Bliss. In my early twenties, a friend encouraged me to attend an event where Gurumayi Chidvilasananda was giving Darshan. I experienced a shift in self perception, which Ngeton helped me to understand. In the late 90s, I accompanied Ngeton to see her Guru, Jean Dunn in California. I asked Jean a question about consciousness and the absolute. To this day, I can’t remember her answer because of the power of her pure consciousness actually stopped my mind.

My desire for understanding and Freedom was ignited in full force after the death of my oldest brother, Randy. I was pursuing a career in the performing arts and Stand Up comedy in New York at the time and eventually returned to Maui to be near my family. Ngeton had been designated to carry on the teachings by Jean Dunn in the Spiritual Lineage of the Navnath Sampradaya. My mother had been relentless in her spiritual journey. After returning to Maui, we wrote her memoir, “An Affair of the Heart” together. Ngeton had dared to tread were very few people would, the depth of the human psyche. She gained a full understanding of the totality of the mind in its ordinary nature as well as enlightened nature. Her love, wisdom and compassion nurtured and guided me. Ngeton’s discernment from an enlightened point of view, in everyday life, was my training ground. Her pure consciousness would penetrate even the most complex patterns of karma in the minds of her students as well as in life situations and circumstances.

Enduring suffering softened my heart, deepened compassion and uncovered my vulnerability and humility in the face of this fleeting human life. I had always tried to avoid and resist suffering. At times, I was overcome by the depth of my inadequacy to alleviate suffering or change what was. Suffering was the catalyst for awakening and love was the catalyst for transformation. All that has had lasting value for me has come through deeply loving Ngeton. My trust in her and the Truth of her teaching, was and is the foundation of my faith and perseverance. I have discovered that honesty, willingness and the courage to act upon what is realized in all aspects of life to be challenging and very worthwhile.

As Ngeton’s student, I felt blessed to be a part of her teaching work and to witness and share in the process. I was always struck by her unwavering commitment, integrity and intention to make the teachings as clear as possible. Her loving kindness extended to all. Through her understanding of the human condition, she would lend insight, wisdom and clarity to those who came into her Presence. For 20 years, my life at every level and all aspects was immersed in spiritual teachings, meditation, contemplation and service. I cherish the lasting friendships and connection that I have with her students and many others that I have met in the presence of Truth, Love and Joy. There are not enough words that could capture all that Ngeton has given to me and so many others.
Her gift of Grace is beyond words.